Kenneth Roy
The weird world of BBC Scotland

Among the items of 'news' on the first page of BBC Scotland's Ceefax this morning, jostling for attention with 'Cleaning firm to create 30 jobs', 'Fatal crash site meeting planned' and 'Mental health centre bid backed', was the following:

Seven major music events are set to be held in the Highlands and Islands over a period of five months this summer.

What is major? Major is a rank in the British army. Major is the Iraq war. Major is 9/11. Major is a calamity in Haiti. What is not major? Seven music events in the Highlands and Islands are not major. The word major has been included to exaggerate the importance of the 'story'. Even if you confine the use of the word to 'music events', only one of the seven – the appearance of Rod Stewart – could fairly be described as major. The others are extremely minor.
     What is set to? In my native village of Bonnybridge, a set to was what happened with distressing frequency on a Saturday night. The BBC in Scotland, however, routinely employs the ghastly term to describe something which may be about to occur. It is intended to confer a bogus sense of urgency on just about anything in the diary. The word 'set' could be dropped from the sentence without disturbing its meaning, in so far as it has any; the phrase 'are set to be' could be replaced by the simpler 'will be' and save two precious words on a page tight for space. But the word will, although factually accurate, diminishes the 'story': the manufactured excitement has gone.
     What is summer? In Scotland, summer is a minor event, often of two weeks' duration. Formally, summer consists of the months of June, July and August, although it is often succeeded by winter with no intervening season once known as autumn. But I have never heard it suggested – until BBC Scotland invented the theory earlier this morning – that summer was 'a period of five months'. When does this period begin? Let us assume 1 June. That would take us to Halloween. Is Halloween summer? Santa Claus has already arrived in the shops. Jingle Bells is everywhere to be heard in the land.
     What is news? The creation of 30 jobs by the cleaning firm is news, good news at that, although it is essentially minor in character and is unworthy of a place on the front page of BBC Scotland's Ceefax service. But the 'seven major events' are not news; this item is nothing more than a plug. How much of a plug can be judged by the third paragraph of the 'story':

The Strokes and Leftfield are headline acts at RockNess, while the Blas, Belladrum and Loopallu festivals will announce their line-ups soon.

Gripping, huh? Blas, Belladrum and Loopallu have nothing to say, but even their nothing-to-sayness is regarded by BBC Scotland as news.
     My next question is perplexing. Why does BBC Scotland feel that it has an obligation to promote commercial events and pass them off as news? It happens far too often and is apparently unquestioned by the controller, Kenneth MacQuarrie, who is paid almost £200,000 a year from the public purse to see to obvious things like this. It is unacceptable first because it isn't news and second because it is so blatantly discriminatory – it is unfair to the commercial events it chooses not to promote. I invite Mr MacQuarrie to tell me whether he intends to discourage the practice.
     My final question you will think very odd indeed. How are we expected to let BBC Scotland know what is happening in the world?
     Earlier in the week, in anticipation of our exposure of the extraordinary behaviour of NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde, we decided to create a little database of newsdesk email addresses. (Many individual journalists subscribe to SR and newspapers often pick up what we reveal, but we have never circulated newsdesks – perhaps it would be a good idea to do so in future.) Islay McLeod – for it was she – phoned around and all but one news organisation was co-operative.
     The exception was the organisation which thinks the non-announcement from Loopallu is news, which thinks Loopallu is a major event, and which thinks summer lasts five months.
     When Islay got nowhere with them, a second front was established. A colleague known for her tact and persistence was put on the job.
Here is her account of what happened next:

I identified myself and asked who she was. Her title is something like planning editor. I said we were circulating some information to newsdesks and wanted an email address for the newsdesk and was it right that she couldn't give me one. She wanted to know what the story was. I said I couldn't tell her. She said why not and I said because we were breaking it tomorrow. She said 'What's the embargo?' and I said that, as soon as SR was online, anyone could have it. She said, 'That's not the way grown up organisations work' - normally the story would be released with an embargo and why didn't we just send it to the PA [Press Association]? I said there must be someone we could email the story to – lots of BBC journalists read SR anyway. She asked 'Does Pauline McLean get it?' I said I didn't know but asked for Pauline McLean's email address. She wouldn't tell me without knowing what the story was. I said 'This is silly, you won't give me an email address.' She said they didn't have a general email address for the newsdesk and no, she wouldn't give me any email address. We left it at that.

Let's get this right.
1. BBC Scotland doesn't have a newsdesk email address? Is that what the planning editor is telling us? I invite Kenneth MacQuarrie to confirm the accuracy of this claim.
2. BBC Scotland refuses as a matter of policy to release anyone's email address to the Scottish Review unless the planning editor is aware of 'what the story is'?

Our 'story' is a page lead in this morning's Herald. It is the subject of a Cabinet inquiry at the Scottish Government. It is the subject of a Conservative Party media statement last night. It has provoked some decent action by NHS Greater Glasgow and Clyde. Even as I write this, it is being covered by BBC Scotland's broadcasting rival in the west of Scotland, Radio Clyde. Of course it is nowhere to be seen or heard on the BBC. Apart from any other reason for this omission (the competing attractions of Loopallu, perhaps?), we were unable to email the BBC because the planning editor claims there is no newsdesk email address.
     A small suggestion to Mr MacQuarrie: if there is no such address, would he care to arrange one as soon as possible?