Call back on Monday

A NATIONAL TRAGEDY II
Who cares about graduate unemployment? Who's doing anything about it? Islay McLeod put a simple question to the political bureaucracy. Here is what they said in reply...

But for how much longer will they be smiling?

'Hello, I'm calling from the Institute of Contemporary Scotland. We're a charity based in Kilmarnock. We're looking to take on a graduate fairly soon and I was wondering if you knew of any government scheme to help us fund the appointment.'

Scottish Government, Edinburgh
'OK, let's have a look and see. Oh, it's not coming up, but I think I've got something written on a bit of paper somewhere.' After a slight delay, put through to 'Unified Funding'. Unified Funding puts us through to someone else. Someone else puts us through to the Education Department. 'I don't know. I would think you should contact the Department of Work and Pensions, but I say this with no confidence. We don't really get involved with this sort of thing.'

Department of Work and Pensions
No general switchboard number. Contacted the Press Office.
'I can't really help you there. It's not something that would come under our remit. We generally help people who have lost their jobs. Why don't you contact your local JobCentre Plus? Sorry I can't be of help.'

JobCentre Plus, Kilmarnock
'Yes, we had a call like that yesterday. But we don't do anything like that. I think you should contact Employers Direct. I think they take more to do with that than us.'

Employers Direct
'That would be the Job Centre. They deal with that kind of thing. We just set up records and amend them and we can't give financial advice. You should contact the JobCentre Plus in Kilmarnock and ask for the recruitment, labour and markets adviser.' She looked for a contact name, but couldn't find one.

Business Gateway, Ayr
'I believe there are one or two schemes around. But I'm not usually in this office. The person you want to speak to is on another call at the moment. I'll ask her to call you back.'

Scottish Enterprise, Glasgow
Put through to the person who deals with a scheme called 'Graduates for Business'. Straight to voicemail; out of the office until Tuesday.

Scottish Enterprise, Edinburgh
'My colleague deals with that, but she doesn't work Fridays. She's back on Monday if you want to call back then. I don't know anything about any scheme.'

Looked up 'Graduates for Business' online
They find the right person for your project, lasting from three months to a year. This recruitment service is free but the employer must pay the graduate a minimum of £14,000 a year; there is no subsidy to employers.

Business Gateway, Ayr
Called back. Not the person who was expected to call back, simply the switchboard operator with another name to contact – at Scottish Enterprise

Scottish Enterprise, Glasgow
'Sadly, from April this year, charities and social enterprises no longer qualify for Graduates for Business. We're very disappointed, but unfortunately we don't make the policy. We have to toe the line. As far as I'm aware, there's no government funding for what you propose. It pains me as well. Good luck.'