European politicians told the Guardian newspaper that British attempts to 'blackmail and divide' other EU countries would result in a disastrous 'crash-landing' for the UK and that the approach being adopted by Theresa May’s government would leave the UK without a trade deal after the negotiations. Opening a debate on the Brexit legislation, the leader of the House of Lords, Baroness Evans, warned peers not to 'frustrate' the referendum result. Baroness Smith of Basildon, for Labour, said the government would not be given a blank cheque and that 'if sovereignty is to mean anything, it has to mean parliamentary responsibility'. Lord Newby, for the Liberal Democrats, suggested the bill could be changed and sent back to the Commons for reconsideration. The newspapers were inordinately excited by a BBC documentary which showed that some peers do next to nothing for their daily allowance, a fact so generally known as to qualify as one of the oldest stories in the book. The leading actor in a new Sunday night drama serial on the BBC, imagining what London would have been like in the event of a German victory in the second world war, seemed to be suffering from a throat condition, and the programme drew heavy criticism for its general inaudibility.

The House of Commons debated two petitions: one opposing a state visit for Trump signed by 1.8 million people, another supporting it signed by 300,000. Labour’s Paul Flynn, the first speaker, said it was 'extraordinary' that an invitation had been issued so soon into his presidency and accused Trump of behaving like a petulant child. A Tory MP, Sir Edward Leigh, referring to Trump’s notorious boasts about groping women, said many politicians would have made 'some ridiculous sexual comment in private'. As the government had confirmed that the state visit would go ahead, the debate was meaningless – though of incidental interest for the opinions of such people as Leigh. A British Muslim teacher travelling to New York as a member of a school party from Wales was denied entry to the United States despite the lifting of Trump’s ban. Trump appointed a new national security adviser. The Irish golfer Rory McIlroy, who played a round with him, said he was not a bad golfer. Hitler’s telephone was sold at auction in America for almost £200,000 – to a man who bid by telephone. The chair of the Commons home affairs select committee, Yvette Cooper, visited a site in Dunkirk where growing numbers of children are sleeping rough, as they are in Calais. Enda Kenny was expected to resign as the prime minister of Ireland over a crisis of confidence in the irish justice system. Tanzania threatened to publish the names of suspected homosexuals. People who knew Kim Jong-nam, who was murdered in Kuala Lumpur last week, claimed that he was paranoid, hiding from the North Korean regime of his half-brother and struggling with a sense of powerlessness over the fate of his homeland. Five people on board a light aircraft died when it crashed into a shopping centre in Melbourne, Australia, due to an engine failure.

Macmillan Cancer Support published an analysis of survival rates for six common cancers in Scotland which found, not altogether surprisingly, that patients living in deprived areas had an increased risk of dying. Scientists from Aberdeen University detected evidence of oil and gas reserves around Scotland’s coasts that had previously been discounted, but industry experts doubted that they would be worth exploiting. There are plans to search for the tomb of James I, who was assassinated in Perth in 1437, not only for its archaeological interest but in the hope of creating a 'major visitor attraction'. A young footballer, Dean Brett, admitted gambling on football matches, including eight bets against his own team, Cowdenbeath, which is
currently adrift at the foot of the second division.

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Mollycoddling the doctors

Are atheists really so superior?

Minding my mouth

The Daily Sketch

Deal or no deal?

The Bridge

We need a dystopian novel about Scotland

Lunch with the girls at Trump's hotel

Turned down by the local GP

Into thin air

Obituary for Britain? Aye right!