Best thing about the week
Robyn Stapleton, the magnificent Scottish traditional singer on BBC Alba's Hogmanay show from Perthshire

Top 10 bores of the week
1. The first Mrs Danczuk
2. The second Mrs Danczuk
3. Mr Danczuk himself
4. The thousands of newspaper features about (a) gut makeovers; (b) losing weight; (c) giving up alcohol for the whole of January
5. Giving up alcohol for the whole of January
6. The new safe drinking limits
7. The 600 characters in 'War and Peace'
8. All the people who said they'd never read 'War and Peace' (including The Midgie)
9. All the people who said 'Happy new year' before midnight
10. The Sunday Herald, already obsessing about May's parliamentary election in Scotland

Entrepreneur of the week
The 17-year-old – poor child – 'sextexted' by Mr Danczuk. According to one inquiring newspaper, she runs a thriving fetishist website catering for the growing market in female toenails

Question of the week
How much did the Daily Mail pay for the less than riveting 'expose' by the first Mrs Danczuk?

Quote of the week
'I hope you're enjoying this mild weather' – the relentlessly cheerful Classic FM presenter John Suchet addressing a flooded nation

Jokes of the week
1. Dame Babs
2. A gong for Ann Summers of knickers fame

Under-statement of the week
The UK government's 'disappointment' at the 47 executions in Saudi Arabia

Laziest people of the week
The Scots, for nabbing Monday the 4th as a public holiday, most of them having already been idle for the best part of a working fortnight

Public service award of the week
To Stagecoach, which didn't run a 'normal' service in The Midgie's neck of the woods between the last hours of 23 December and the first hours of 5 January, except on the two Sundays when it ran, er, a Sunday service. But when The Midgie turned up for the 3.19 from Prestwick Airport last Sunday it was a no-show.

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Kenneth Roy
How social media and the press are assisting Britain's home-grown terrorists

Main articles
Walter Humes
At what point do we have a pliant new body called Thinking Scotland?

Gerry Hassan
McIlvanney and Bell offered an insight into the collective world of the Scottish soul

Magnus Linklater
We can be confident that the Scottish prosecutors got the right man

Martin Shannon
Scotland's new office works perfectly – except for the really important people

Andrew Hook
Why is this writer unnoticed in the history of Scottish literature?

Bob Cant
It was a land that could never be conquered and might enslave the people

The Cafe: Readers' views
The Midgie: Passing events
Photography: George Robertson
Cartoons: Bob Smith

SR's online radio. New this week: a short story by Catherine Czerkawska

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