Humes' Fumes

A small victory over the evil empire

Walter Humes

I am pleased to be able to report a small victory over the evil empire of global finance. What is more, the Scottish Review played a significant part in the outcome.
     A few months ago I had to decide what to do with a modest investment in a well-known high-street bank. After discussion with a member of staff, I transferred the proceeds to a fixed-term bond, adding some additional cash to bring it up to a round figure. It was a simple transaction and I expected no problems. However, when the bond certificate arrived it showed only the transfer figure from the previous account, not the full sum. I immediately went to the branch and was assured by a brisk young woman that everything was in order and that I would be sent a corrected bond certificate and a letter confirming this.
     Nothing happened. When I contacted the bank again I was told that the young woman I had spoken to was 'on annual leave'. A recurring theme in this saga was the apparent impossibility of contacting the same person twice. I asked to speak to the person with whom I had originally conducted the business but she was 'busy with a client'. However, through the offices of yet another member of staff who acted as a telephone 'go-between', I was able to exchange messages with my original contact and got an assurance that a further request to head office to issue a correct bond certificate would be made. A week later the bond arrived – showing precisely the same figure as before.
     By this time my normally equable temperament was beginning to show a little strain. When I phoned the branch the only person available was the assistant manager. Foolishly, I thought this would enable me to make progress. Instead I had a 'robust' conversation with a person who was not prepared to listen and who constantly interrupted me. Clearly I was regarded as a tiresome old fool who was not content to have verbal assurances that all his money was safe. However, once again I was told that a letter would be forthcoming. It was not. Yet another phone call prompted a further promise that it would be sent. It finally arrived – but still no bond certificate. Interestingly, although the date of the letter corresponded to the conversation I had had with the assistant manager, it was postmarked more than a week later, after I had made my follow-up call.
     At this point I decided to raise the stakes by writing a formal letter of complaint to head office (with a copy to the branch manager). The address for complaints was a Post Office Box in the Midlands so I was not particularly optimistic. I subsequently discovered that the bank in question has a deplorable record for dealing with complaints and I have still not received either an acknowledgement or a reply from head office. However, I fired off two further letters to the branch manager and have finally received a full apology (with documentation that now satisfies me), an acknowledgement that the matter was handled badly and a promise that staff issues have been addressed.
     What brought this about? In my last letter I just happened to mention that I contribute to the Scottish Review and enclosed a copy of a recent piece I had written on the financial crisis. I suggested that my experience with the bank had given me material for further articles – not a threat, you understand, just a bit of gentle encouragement. It seems to have worked.