Roy Reports Welcome to the new tabloid: the BBC KENNETH ROY Notebook Stag do at the monastery DAVID TORRANCE Cafe and Table for One with Alastair Stewart Hassan at Large Sorry: it seems to be the hardest word in Scotland GERRY HASSAN The Week The anonymous insiders of Scottish education WALTER HUMES Nannie's Diary 'The captain has decided not to land' NANNIE SKÖLD Sharp Talk I've just survived my annual Eurovision party RACHEL SHARP Despatch Lisbon nights ALAN MCINTYRE Memoir In search of Luther R D KERNOHAN The Local ISLAY MCLEOD Bob Smith's Views Sport The best golf teacher of all time? JACK DAVIDSON