Dundee Evening Telegraph
5 June 1900
No parsons in heaven
The chaplain of one of our large lunatic asylums tells the following: – A woman (a patient of the asylum) is very keen on making him ask her conundrums. One day the chaplain asked her the following: 'Why are there no marriages in heaven?' She could not answer then, so he told her that 'it was because there were so few women there.' Two days later, a woman from the patient's ward gave him the following letter: – 'Rev. Sir, The answer you gave me on Saturday was not the correct one. The reason why there are no marriages in heaven is because there are no parsons there to celebrate them.'

Dumfries and Galloway Standard
5 June 1850
Sir John Ross
On Monday week, the day appointed for the departure of the schooner-yacht Felix from the harbour of Ayr, the inhabitants of all classes assembled to see the gallant Sir John Ross commence his truly philanthropic enterprise. The harbour at this time presented a most animated appearance. The craft in the harbour had their colours flying, decks and rigging filled with onlookers. Sir J Ross stood on the quarter-deck. As the vessel moved he bowed and waved his hat, and a cheer was sent up from the crowds in the steamer, echoed from side to side of the river, and passed along the line of spectators. Sir John Ross's expedition left Lochryan on the evening of Thursday 23d inst. and was towed out by the Briton steamer, belonging to Glasgow and Stranraer Steam Packet Company. On board the Briton a large number of people embarked for a pleasure sail, and to give Sir John and his crew a parting cheer.

Glasgow Evening Post
8 June 1867
Fainting
Ladies do not faint nowadays, at least but rarely. If one can trust a perfect mass of evidence, oral and written, syncope, at the end of the last century, and up to the 35th year of this, was a habit with ladies. A story without a swoon was impossible until lately. Let us thank heaven comfortably that our mothers, wives, and daughters have given up the evil habit of becoming cataleptic at the occurrence of anything in the least degree surprising.

Ayrshire Express
6 June 1863
Academy Street
Sir – I will feel obliged by your permitting me, through the columns of your paper, to call the attention of the Police Commissioners to the very dilapidated state of this ancient street. It appears not to have been recausewayed during this century at least; and, although a quiet street, there is considerable traffic thorugh it, to and from the academy, to the quay, etc. Unless something is speedily done to improve it, I would suggest that in wet weather boats should be stationed in certain parts of it, so that pedestrians might at least not incur the risk of being drowned in the waters that are gathered together in the hollows thereof. I am, &c. A Burgess.

Jedburgh Gazette
10 June 1871
Runaway engine
On Monday evening an accident happened on the Kelso branch which might have been attended with disastrous results; as it was, very serious damage was done to a locomotive at Roxburgh. The passenger train which left St Boswells at 8.34 had arrived at Kelso, and the engine, after having been detached from the carriages, was being slowly moved into the engine-shed for the night, the person in charge having come off to alter the 'points' for that purpose. The force of steam, however, had been miscalculated, as the engine reached the 'points' before the lad, and dashed on to the up-rails of the main line. No means being available to arrest its progress, the engine proceeded at a furious speed up to Roxburgh Junction, where a goods train from Edinburgh was shunting preparatory to leaving for Kelso. The driver of the 'goods' train saw the runaway approaching on the wrong line of rails, and had just time to escape into a siding with the engine and part of the train when the passenger-train engine came up, and dashed into the other portion of the goods train, still standing on the main line.

The consequence was a considerable amount of damage to the engine itself and to the two waggons of minerals on the goods train. Fortunately no person was hurt. It happened providentially that owing to there being a little more work than usual to be done at Roxburgh Junction that evening, the goods train had been delayed, otherwise the two engines would have met on the incline between Roxburgh and Kelso, when the consequences would doubtless have been more serious.

John o’Groats Journal
10 June 1890
Thurso
A melancholy occurrence took place one day last week in the vicinity of Shoreditch Villa. A literary family who reside there had arranged to walk to the Bishop's castle, and the duty of closing the house was entrusted to an absent-minded young lady, who, lost in the sweetness of her own thoughts, left one of the windows open with the result that a valuable canary flew away and returned no more. Much sympathy is felt for the bereaved family.

The Scotsman
10 June 1890
An Arbroath town councillor censured
At a meeting of Arbroath Town Council last evening an attack of a personal nature was made on a member of the Council, Mr James Cargill, by another member, Mr John Michie. The latter was called upon by the Provost to withdraw the offensive statement. Mr Michie distinctly refused to do so, and the Council thereupon unanimously passed a vote of censure upon him amid considerable uproar, during which some of the members left the meeting. Mr Michie declared that he did not care twopence for the censure of the Council.